Herne has come back in full amourus force; I find it interesting that when He is being gentle with me, Herne is the name that comes to mind, when He is being more stern it is Cernnunos. Shortly after my last post I had a dream that felt so real that it wasn’t until I woke up that I realized it was a dream. R had just left for work so it was about 3am, the bedroom door open to let the air flow through, the weather has been hot and muggy. The phone began to ring, loud and insistant, a chill of fear running through me. I kept telling myself to get up but out of the corner of my eye I see a shadow flit from just out of my vision to what will eventually be the baby’s room. It is large, powerful, and man shaped. I can see that the patio door is open. Because this felt so real the terror that ran though me was deep and intense, convinced that an intruder was in my house. This of course shot me straight into consciousness when in an instant I realized that I was indeed safe. It was His calling card I guess, His heads up that He has heeded my wish for Him to return, that He has “called” upon me again.
Since this dream I have felt his familiar presence. Up close behind me, hands on my shoulders, dipping His head to breath softly on the tender skin of my neck, leaving a feather light kiss, a smug smile on His face. Kind…but most definitely smug. He is being gentle with me so far. I expect though that when He is ready He will come at me in the same intense manner. It’s just the way He is. The Rutting Stag. There is a constant underlying arousal that I have now come to realize is His doing. I’m scared but overjoyed that He is back.