Poseidon has just recently appeared. Like every other Divine Being in my life He is not “Poseidon”. Well He is. But He’s not.
And people wonder why I struggle so much to explain my beliefs, hehe!
The Being that now wants me to call Him Poseidon is not new to me. We have had a bit of an interesting relationship. Namely Him making Himself known in some fashion and me all but screaming in terror in the other direction. I have a rabid mad need to be near water of all kinds. At the same time I am terrified of it. It makes my gut feel hollow, my mouth goes dry, I get dizzy. If I am wading into the water do not be surprised if I actually, IN REAL LIFE, suddenly mutter on obscenity and run from the water.
It’s not so much the waters themselves I am frightened of. It’s what lays on the other side. Water is a gateway. It takes you places. Conducts energy. Pulls you through to the Other Side.
Granted there are some minor incidents in life that have made me wary of water, none of it was ever bad enough to explain the clawing dread.
I’ve always wanted to travel physically to the Other Side. Greek myth cycles were taught early in my public education so I had read watered down tales of people going to and then returning. But then I read a book called Lavondyss by Robert Holdstock. It is the middle of a trilogy. I’ve only ever read the first and second, the first one being read almost a decade after the first. This book was what ignited my thirst for “Pagan” knowledge. Along with tales of Irish/Scottish Fae this book single handedly made me terrified of having anything to do with going across the Bridge. Through the Veil. Whatever you want to call it.
This fear has never stopped me from spending time with water, it just makes things uncomfortable. The theme so far this year seems to be one of breaking down walls, trying things that I said I never would, secrets and whispers. And while I love the murky deep I fear my own trepidation will hinder things. (Hermes just reassured me it won’t, doesn’t mean I still won’t worry!).