I’m afraid. For the first time in a long time I’m afraid of the world. I was childless and much less connected to the Gods the last time I felt this fear. I think it was actually in the early to mid nineties when my mortal Father was called up from his reserve regiment to be sent to Iraq. I’d never felt so grateful or gushed my love to the Divine like I did when he didn’t pass the medical tests. I currently have some very dear friends and some distant family still in the service, I may need to do a Vigil for them. Compounding the current state of affairs in the world is that I am married, corporeally and non-corporeally, and have a mortal child who will have to grow up in this world. I know living on the western coast of Canada provides me with a certain amount of safety, it doesn’t really help though. I’m afraid for everyone.

Coupled with the unease in my corporeal life, the non-corporeal is a howling, screaming mess, though it seems calm on the surface. Poseidon isn’t here, or rather I should say I’m not with Him. This is Hermes half of the year so I have moved house. I find myself in Hermes home now. The closest Lore that would explain and describe it involve a bit of name changing. Sometimes Poseidon likes to look/act/be called Njord, Hermes begrudgingly admitted His Heimdallr associations. I’ve moved from Noatun to Himinbjörg. Where Noatun was quiet but lived in, Himinbjörg is cold, dark, brooding. Most of the furnishings are covered in sheets, it is in need of a good cleaning. No One has lived here for some time. Not in the Castle proper anyways. His rooms are resplendent; The fabrics are dark but warm colours, browns and golds and reds. I find this extra fascinating because His colours right now are blues and greys. Oh wait, He’s in “war” mode currently He says, the blues are for official duties and more associated with Himself as Hermes. That’s going to be a post in and of itself I think. I realize as I write this that I have a lot to do at my Winter home. There are Beings here that need attending too.

For the first time in a long time He scares me too. Not intentionally, of course, but when you find your Beloved screaming in the Dark in rage and pain and madness. He is so tired already and there is only more coming. I worry for Him. I will be His Light in the Darkness, I will be the Beacon that helps Him find His way home.

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4 thoughts on “Fear

  1. I am thinking more and more that I have been afforded a measure of distance/quietness as a way of keeping me safe from whatever hellish mess is going on right now. Which I hate to even say out loud, because I feel like a child who needs coddling. Though if They think that’s best, who am I to argue – and do I really want to push things and find out I’m right?

    That said, how can I best support you? What do you need, that I can provide, that will help? Space to vent? Fart jokes? Care package of southern hemisphere chocolate-based contraband?

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