Songs of Appreciation – Never Let Me Down

There is a lot of very intense and personal things haplening in my life right now. All of them are amazing and wonderful and so far beyond anything I ever thought I’d ever have. They are also utterly terrifying and with all the tears of gratitude and bliss and happiness, there has also been much terrified screaming into the void. NONE of these things are fit for public consumption at the moment. Like my children when they were newborns, these things must be sheltered if they are to grow strong and healthy.

There was a time in my life, many years ago, where I hit my first rock bottom. I was truly alone for the first time in my life. I had grown up with at least ten people in the house at all times. This was the first time I had lived alone. I had just gotten out of a very controlling and abusive relationship. I was in the throes of my alcoholism. It was bad.

After a particularly bad stretch I remember being curled up in my bed, sobbing. I had been binge drinking for a week and my body and mind were making me pay for it. I hadn’t prayed to Him since I was a child. I did then. I was shattered and so lonely. I asked him to help me find the remedy to what ailed me. Very shortly after that there were some major life events that occured that started the healing process.

Fast forward to the present. My life is in a similar state of flux. Things have been bad for the last year, probably longer if I’m honest. I had been looking for the remedy to my life woes, finding what essentially amounted to band-aids. These things would ease the wounds for a while but they weren’t designed to last.

So, in a similar state, about six months ago, when all Hell was breaking loose, I once again swallowed my pride and asked for help. I told him, much as I had 16 years prior, that I would do the Work needed to acheive balance. That I was not expecting a hand out but that I could not do this on my own. And I knew better, after so much time, there was no need to stumble in the dark. He is here for me always to guide me down the path. Even if I can’t see the path.

He has once again helped me beyond what words can describe. I feel a peace I have not felt in ages. His generosity knows no bounds and I am forever grateful. I do not know how to show him how appreciative I am…

*chuckles* This just in, “You show me your appreciation by remembering who you are and living this life to the fullest.”

This song has been on replay in my head, and my phone, in regards to Him and my current situation.

Hail my Beloved. Lord of Storms. King of Broken Hearts. Trickster of Renown. May He hear my praises for all of his days.

Video here:

“Never Let Me Down Again”

I’m taking a ride
With my best friend
I hope he never lets me down again
He knows where he’s taking me
Taking me where I want to be
I’m taking a ride
With my best friend

We’re flying high
We’re watching the world pass us by
Never want to come down
Never want to put my feet back down
On the ground

I’m taking a ride
With my best friend
I hope he never lets me down again
Promises me I’m safe as houses
As long as I remember who’s wearing the trousers
I hope he never lets me down again

Never let me down

See the stars, they’re shining bright
Everything’s alright tonight

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The Final Harvest

The Final Harvest

Hail to the Dead
Who we honour at The Final Harvest
That which is remembered never truly dies.

Hail to the Beloved Dead
Those we kept close during life
Those who filled our hearts with love.

Hail to the Lost Dead
Those we never knew
Those we will never know due to the distance of Time and Place.

Hail to the Forgotten Dead
Those who have been lost and forgotten
Those whose names we do not know due to treachery and loss.

Hail to the Glorious Dead
Those who fell in combat
Those who survived and lived with the scars to pass later.

Hail to the Innocent Dead
Lost children and babes
Those who did not take a breath, or very few.

Hail to all those who have gone before us
The Veil is all but gone this night
We hear you and remember you.

-Angela Kurkiewicz, Samhain 2016

Invictus

Invictus

Dreamt of a pair of long haired German Shepard’s. One male, one female. The male was named Invictus and was my protector? Guide? In the dream the pair were supposed to be staying at my former employer(a doggy daycare) but had for unknown reasons could not, so they came to stay with me. Once I had them at home I felt the need to make sure they weren’t dangerous. I played roughly with them, they both barely batted an eye, essentially just stood and took whatever I doled out. By the end of the dream it was made clear that the female was not important, she didn’t have a name, was more of a shadow, and faded as time went on. It was Invictus who was/is important. He kept by my side and though I can’t remember all the details now, he kept me safe. I have not dreamed of him since but I have felt him near, both in the incarnate realm and dream time. He seems to have great affection for me. He is most definitely not a Divine being in another form but a Spirit of some sort. 

Pathways

I asked for clarification on my path/studies the day before yesterday. I have since dreamed of literally going down into darkness for the third time. Last night I dreamt of being a “death talker” and the dream involved “taking in” the Spirits of the Dead so they could speak. There were also dogs again in the dream about going down into the Earth, into Darkness. Last night while poking around Pinterest when I couldn’t sleep I had suggestions for Nantosuelta and Sucelles. On Facebook this morning I came across a photograph of mushrooms growing from a deer skeleton. Will need to ponder a bit before I take any actions in regards to the Dead. Will be poking into Gaulish things and say hello again to The Mother of Rot.

Comments from the page Magic Mushrooms that posted it:

Interesting… It looks like whatever this deer was eating, most likely plant matter of sorts, had mushroom spores on it, ended up germenating inside the deers stomach, then fruited after the deer had died and decayed.
Photo courtesy of Lain Haigh.

This might also be of note, a couole weeks ago I first noticed that White Wings was back in the area. She(could be a he for all I know) was born or appeared about three years ago. I’m not sure if I don’t see her during the warmer months because she actually goes somewhere or if I’m just too busy to actually see her. She is a crow with white flight feathers and a mostly white tail. I managed to get some pictures, not the best quality but not too bad in regards to cell phone pictures. 

Singularity Rather Then Duality?

That moment you realize that that the two Gods you thought you were married to have morphed into one. Or maybe They’ve always been one and your little mortal brain couldn’t quite grasp it without seeing Him as a duality first. Of course it once again all comes down to The Horned One. Shaman and King. Man and God. Water and Firmament. Deer and Dolphin. Hunter and Hunted. You’d think this would make things a bit easier but right now it feels more complicated. Good times. I must admit though, having the familiar face of the Stag back is very good.

The Long Dark and My Companions

Generally speaking Fall and Winter were the territory of He Who Sometimes Likes To Be Called Hermes. Even before I started using Hermes/Poseidon a regular names for them there was a general “changing of the guard” that happened. I’m starting to get the feeling this that this year, possibly every year from now on, there isn’t going to be a God switch. I mean there was a definite arrival of “Hermes” when the retrograde started, confirmed by a dream the day before the Solstice that He was here and staying. All the water imagery hasn’t left though. It’s all mishmashed in with the Hermes related things. He Who Sometimes Likes To Be Called Poseidon is whispering now that He is the “Constant Companion” and that Hermes is the one who comes and goes. 

This should make for an interesting Season.