Didn’t do anything fancy this year. I’m recovering from a csection and taking care of my four year old and my almost four week old. I did manage to get some cleaning done and make real dinner. Lit a candle in the small shrine earlier and just put out a saucer of butter, milk, and oats. I am thankful for the darkness and for the returning light.
The Final Harvest
Hail to the Dead
Who we honour at The Final Harvest
That which is remembered never truly dies.
Hail to the Beloved Dead
Those we kept close during life
Those who filled our hearts with love.
Hail to the Lost Dead
Those we never knew
Those we will never know due to the distance of Time and Place.
Hail to the Forgotten Dead
Those who have been lost and forgotten
Those whose names we do not know due to treachery and loss.
Hail to the Glorious Dead
Those who fell in combat
Those who survived and lived with the scars to pass later.
Hail to the Innocent Dead
Lost children and babes
Those who did not take a breath, or very few.
Hail to all those who have gone before us
The Veil is all but gone this night
We hear you and remember you.
-Angela Kurkiewicz, Samhain 2016
This fantastic. I’ve never been a huge fan of April Fool’s Day. This gives me a whole new way to look at the day. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me that April 4th would be His birthday. My brain is pretty foggy right now.
This year’s Ludi Mercuriales or Games of Mercury are just around the corner and I’ve been getting ready for four days of food, fun and flowers in honour of the Fleet-Footed, His mother and His divine host of Lares Viales. The pantry’s been stocked with needed ingredients, the raw materials for the wreaths are in, […]
Today is a heavy day for me. The whole six months of the Dark Half of the year is hard for me but today is particularly hard.
In this incarnation alone I have countless blood relatives who joined the armed forces. Those are just the ones I have found paper work for. My mortal father just retired from the armed forces last year. I lived with my maternal grandfather most of my life. I grew up spending regular time with The Seaforth Highlanders of Canada(my father’s regiment). I have seen and felt first hand the effects of war here on the material plain and through the stories The Dead tell me.
As I’ve gotten older the casualties of war have also worked their way into this day. The Innocent Dead. Military is the focus of the day but civilians and those left behind are also remembered.
Being married to a God of The Dead also makes this day important. I feel His grief acutely today. His sorrow, His rage, His frustration, His exhaustion. He is The Centurion, The Soldier in my Vision today. Dark hair slicked back with sweat and blood. His armour is dark matte metal and leather, the blood drying on it adds a shine. He smells of blood, horses, war dogs, leather, fear and pain. He pulses with energy that I can’t quite explain.
Physically and mentally I am exhausted from day to day life but I take His emotions as well because that is part of my promise to Him. To hold space, to bear witness, to remember.
Hail the Beloved Dead. Hail the Glorious Dead. Hail the Innocent Dead. Hail the Victorious Dead.
That which is remembered never dies.
I spent yesterday in a dreamy fog. Himself had come home for the day. I was hoping that He would be here this morning but to no avail. He’s quick to answer on what I’ve now dubbed my “God CB radio”, but He’s not HERE. It’s always bittersweet. At least I can count on Him coming home one day a month. (The 4th is His day)
With the number four being associated with Hermes I had decided to start marking the day for Him in some fashion. This was the first month since I had decided that anything actually got done. As we were getting ready to leave to spend the night at my in-laws I felt strongly compelled to leave some steel cut oats out for my wild bird friends. So as we were running late out the door I stopped to fill a blue pottery bowl I had rediscovered and left a little trail from my empty suet feeders to where I had left the bowl under the umbrella. I didn’t get the chance to mark the occasion any other way but I am glad I did a little something at least.
As I mentioned in a previous post things have been a little hectic in my Spiritual life. My adventures in Monotheism have ended, I’ve taken many good lessons from it. The main one being that while I do believe that all Paths lead to the One God, or the Source, not ALL Gods are ONE God. They are all unique individuals who deserve to be treated as such. My studies of the Abrahamic Faiths helped me to overcome my unfriendly knee-jerk reaction to male identified Divinity. I’ve always been much more comfortable around Goddess’s. The Gods I find either uninteresting or overwhelming. It seems with the female based energy I feel more at home because it is what I can most relate to. While male energy has a much more visceral reaction from me. While I am not exactly over the fear, and yes that is what the problem is, fear, I am definitely taking some very big steps.
The Norse Gods/Goddesses have been my visitors as of late. If you have read my previous posts you will have learned of my interactions with a male God who I was quite convinced was Cernunnos. Seems I was wrong. Well, close but not quite. Odin has made a very intense and intimate appearance. He floats on the edges of my consciousness now. His first attempts at getting my attention scared the wits out of me and I ran for my life, figuratively speaking. So He is taking things much slower now. Much to my annoyance and comfort. It seems I can never be happy, haha! GIVE IT ALL TO ME NOW! NO WAIT! GET AWAY FROM ME!! 😛
I had very vivid dreams with Him, three days in a row. Dreams where HE was ACTUALLY there, in the flesh, so to speak. I’m not going into details as to what happened, they are for my eyes only, but I am feeling much more at ease. My sense of self-worth is higher. He hasn’t made an appearance since, regardless of my requests (asking, demanding, pleading) but He has been working through others. I was trailed by Crows, Bald Eagles and Red Tailed Hawks. Beth Lynch, whose blog you can find here and who also writes on Pagan Square, seems to have impeccable timing. When I was feeling lost she mentioned her book, Water from the Well and Other Wyrd Tales of Odin, which I promptly bought and have burned through already. I can’t explain how helpful it has been. I feel much calmer and connected to Odin and the Norse Gods in general. I was wondering where to start with ritual practice, lo and behold she posted the first in a series of “how to” articles on Pagan Square, which you can read here. She also spins yarn, which I have been called to do recently, her items are incredible and amazing and I want them all! Her Etsy store is here. Needless to say, she’s my new favourite person.
On spinning and yarn and such. I am still floundering in the waters of NEW but I have found that Frigg, Odin’s Goddess-Wife, spins (among other things). So I have been slowing collecting information on her. I’m unsure right now if I am supposed to be emulating Frigg or actually talking with Her. Only time will tell.
Since Odin is the centre of my practice at the moment I have designated Wednesday as my spiritual pursuit day. So every Wednesday (Woden’s/Odin’s Day) I will write in this blog at the very least. Hopefully get some spinning done and some crochet. Some educational reading is also on the list.
As far as An Morrigan and Cernunnos go, I still feel Her, she is sitting calmly on the sidelines. I’m unsure if I still feel Him, Odin seems to overshadow any other Male influences. They are like my parents and I am the child who has just graduated college. They are there for me but I’m also kind of on my own. That’s how it feels right now anyways.
My Druid studies are in a bit of a standstill. Hopefully I will get that going again soon.
That’s all for now.