Progress Report

Hermes is very present and close tonight and the last few days. I am beyond ecstatic. I am eager for the familiar hum of His energy with me. He buzzes around me excitedly sometimes. Mostly though He is just There. With me. Enveloping me. Keeping me safe and reminding me I am Beloved of Gods. His choice of words, not mine.

So much of my time lately has been with Odin. Everything about Him is BIG. ALL CONSUMING. I said wryly to my Mother the other day, that the irony of fleeing Yahweh and winding up in the arms of Odin, it’s not lost on me. I’m not lamenting just adjusting to the current way of things. Hermes has been with me always. Odin almost that long but always standing in the back. Hiding in His cloak. The One Eyed Watcher. It’s more reversed now. Odin is still VERY much here. Yesterday I saw two three legged dogs while leaving my sons school. Never seen them before. Timing is everything.

Big changes are afoot that I can’t actually talk about right now. Partly due to some taboos and partly due to the fact I just can’t explain what is going on. Things are very good in some respects. In a lot of respects. The things that are no longer in balance though are becoming problematic. Odin suffers no fools. Nor does He appreciate my finely tuned art of procrastination. Luckily for me the stars and planets have been doing some epic things so even the Gods have to slow down.

Remember…
Breath
Eat
Sleep
Love
Repeat.

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Return of the King

Sometimes I forget what it’s like to touch a God. With working on the Odin Contract the last year I did not spend much time with Hermes. He would flit in and out, as is his way, but he wasn’t as present as he has been over the last few years. I miss that closeness with him. Odin and the group that has come with him, they feel different. Hermes is Hermes. As always. “I am.” he says with that smirk. I thought I needed to write another contract with Odin but I realized as I was writing this that it isn’t necessary. They aren’t going anywhere. They are Family now.

It seems, in light of this, that Hermes is able to come back around more often. It’s nice to just be able to reach out and feel him there. It’s kind of like I’ve been busy with school, living on campus, and now I’ve moved back home. It’s where I want and need to be but there is some teenage-esque awkwardness. Some readjustment to a space and presence I have muscle memory of. Hermes thinks it’s cute.

I am currently recovering from open hernia repair so my non-corporeal friends are just hanging out for now. It’s not the kind of silence that was around me during pregnancy but there is a definite sense of quiet. I’m impatient to dive back into my spiritual life, a lot has been on hold since I’ve been waiting for this surgery. I hope to be making more regular posts as I heal.

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Holiday Cards

So regardless of one’s culture and ancestry and what not, you can pretty much find Winter Solstice based traditions EVERYWHERE. The very least of these, in regards to sheer numbers, are Christian based traditions. Don’t quote me on this, it’s 2am and I feel sick, and my bullshit tolerance is in the negative somewhere, and I so don’t have the spoons to do all the actual research right now and find stats. 

ANYWAY

Ever since the start of November I’ve been having some serious issues in regards to the LDS side of my practice. I still have Himself (and Odin, increasingly) kicking my ass to go get my Temple Recommend renewed and get my endowments done so I can get access to the fonts INSIDE the Temple. Ever see an image of a pissed off horse, wrenching on the bit, and getting close to bolting? That’s pretty much how I feel about the Church right now. I love Christ, I love the people in my ward, I love a lot of the teachings. But the people in charge seem to be a bunch of angry old white men who have lost connection with a good portion of the actual members of the Church. I’m hesitant to actually talk about it with my Church friends because I don’t want to hear a bunch of platitudes about how I should just shut the fuck up and do what the breathren tell me too. Support and sustain without question.

And then I come across shit like this and the whole idea of leaving the Church comes screaming back because FOR FUCKS SAKE ITS A CARD!!! A SIGN THAT SOMEONE CAREF ENOUGH ABOUT YOU TO SEND YOU A LITTLE NOTE. 

Here is the posting from the Faceboom page of Dallin H. Oaks. My phone doesn’t want to copy the link.

A few years ago, I analyzed the Christmas cards I received at my office and home. There were many, so this was not a small sample. Significantly, my sample was biased toward religious images and words by the fact that most of the cards were sent by fellow leaders or members of my faith.
I sorted the cards I received into three groups. In the first group I put the traditional cards—those with an overt mention of Christ and/or pictures evocative of the birth of the Savior. Only 24 percent of the cards I received were of this traditional character.
In the second group were those cards whose pictures and visuals were not at all religious, but they did have the words “Merry Christmas” to identify the religious origin of the holiday. This was the largest group—47 percent. 
In the third group—comprising 29 percent of the cards I received—there was no mention of Christ or Christmas and no religious visuals at all. These cards had words like “Season’s Greetings,” “Happy Holidays,” “Peace in the New Year,” or “Peace and Beauty of the Season.” A few were so daring as to refer to “Peace on Earth” or “Faith, Hope, and Love,” but none had any pictures suggestive of religion.
For Latter-day Saints, Christmas should be a time to celebrate the birth of the Son of God and also to remember His teachings. In reality, His life has had greater impact on every part of this world and its history than any life ever lived. His gifts to us are the greatest gifts ever given—the assurance of immortality and the opportunity for eternal life. Those are the gifts we should celebrate at this and every Christmas.

Roles

They all play a role in my life. And it is always in flux. This is the general idea though.

Poseidon is my Lover, my Husband, my King.

Hermes is my Lover, my Husband, my King, a Hunting Partner, Fellow Warrior

Apollo is my Priest, a ‘Spirit Worker’, He helps to guide and teach in the ways of Readings.

Aphrodite is my Friend, my Mother, my Huntress, my Mirror, my Love

And there’s Loki, Who does not give me another name to call Him besides Coyote. He is a very dear friend of mine and a ‘business partner’ or sorts, I tend to do a lot of readings for Lokeans. And He loves and watches over my son.

Odin is my Father in Heaven. A solid Rock and Foundation I can rest upon.

The Morrigan is my previous Patroness, an Old and Dear Friend Who is with me Always. 

Now…language and names are a complicated thing. At this point in my Path and Learning, Who and What the God(s) actually are is really wibbly wobbly (totally timey wimey Dr Who shit). Besides Their continued support in one form or another, nothing is constant. The names used are the ones They currently prefer.

Division of Labour 

The new devotional schedule is roughly as follows.

First week of the month is reserved for Odin and/or Hermes. The rest of the month is now reserved for Poseidon. He says there will be “tutor’s” who will be coming to visit. Hekate for divination type stuff. Hera for family/home related things. Others I know nothing about at this time.

Now, off to bed, Poseidon says.

Yes, Dear.

Old but Unfamiliar Territory 

There are some major shifts happening in my Spiritual life right now. I don’t have to words yet to explain it fully yet. It seems my visit to the North has been interrupted by what is apparently a home coming in the Mediterranean. Odin still checks in every few days, I will see eagles flying above me. Today there was a raven sitting on a road sign as we sped down the highway, things slowed in my head as we drove by, the raven was clear in my sight. That was Himself saying He is with me. He is busy but I do not feel separated from Him like before. I saw two hawks, I believe one very well could have been a Peregrine Falcon. The other was that brownish-red like Golden Eagles have. It is Freya that I associate with those birds. I feel Her often when traveling out that direction which happens to be where we will more then likely be moving in the next six months. Poseidon has become a figure. A constant support. He is very comforting and warm and loving. He can also be a bit scary and abrupt. Go figure though, God of the Waters and all. King of Storms. I don’t quite have the words to explain what’s going on there yet either. Either way things are good but new and scary and it sometimes makes my head hurt.

Guiding Gods

I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. As a young teen, when I left Christianity I left my interactions with Male Powers behind. I am not proud of it but I treated Them about as well as I treated mortal males during those years. I was struggling with the masculine parts of myself mightily at the time. Still do but that’s another blog post in and of itself. My fear of my own non-binary nature along with a giant bag of baggage from Christianity kept me from connecting with Them. It could have just been part of my journey I suppose, immerse myself in the gender I was assigned at birth(female), now it’s time to explore the others options.

It took a couple years for Himself to reassure me enough to let Him in. Since I’ve let Him it’s been a bit of a snowball effect. I’ve now had direct contact with five Gods in the last few months, including Himself. Odin is my Father in Heaven, Hermes is my Beloved Husband, Ares is a dear Friend, Loki is…well Loki. Then there is Poseidon. I’m pretty sure I’ve already written a bit about His amorous intentions. My Fibromyalgia is acting up really bad today so I has the dumb and not the brain power to look it up right now. When I asked the Menfolk why they were here, this song was my answer.

Which when you read the lyrics and such is really very funny and fitting with my feeling of entering a “Brave New World” (maybe I should read the book again?).

Hermes spoke with me yesterday about Poseidon, reassuring me that He is not upset about my feelings for Poseidon or for any interactions with Him. Himself reminded me that monogamy is really a “modern” human construct. He told me that He “sent” Poseidon to me because I need Someone else with me when He is away. It wasn’t like an arranged relationship or anything. It’s kinda like He gave His blessings I suppose? Kinda like when He asked Hekate to come help me with my visions and such.

Poseidon and I have been “talking” most of the morning. He talks in songs. Which is awesome. Hermes does too but Poseidon seems to speak more in waves of emotion and music, the rumbles of tremors and earthquakes and horse hooves. He played this song for me today in regards to our relationship, He had eluded to an idea like this when He told me to look up information on Amphitrite.

Now what He wanted me to pay particular attention to was this part…

“When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

They say it’s what you make
I say it’s up to fate
It’s woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can’t escape this now
Unless you show me how”

Unless you show Me how. The idea of being a Mortal that needs to Guide a God is scaring the shit out of me right now. I can’t stay way though. It’s time to jump in the deep end.

Menfolk

The Menfolk are confusing these days. Himself is still here-nothere, there are moments where I can almost feel Him and then poof! He’s gone. I’m thinking this may be part of His nature and I will have to suck it up and deal with it. Not too often though I hope. Blarg.

Odin says hello almost every day. This last week I even had the pleasure of seeing actual eagles. Most people associate Ravens with Him and while I do, I connect them more strongly with An Morrigan and Himself. I guess it’s more that Eagles are specific to Him while the other is shared. He’s been my rock this week…of two weeks? Things are pretty intense on the temporal front so yeah. His support is much appreciated.

I’ve also seen a couple of Herons, Great Blue Herons to be exact. Those I definitely associate with Himself and the whole liminal thing in general. I was prompted to pick up a small pot of crocus for Himself. Note the type in the photo. I see what you did there Mister.

Ares(*cough*Thor*cough*) is otherwise indisposed…ahem…it’s all the SisterWife’s fault.

Poseidon is back. Being very…Uhm…friendly. The rains are pretty intense here right now. Another “Pineapple Express” blowing through. It’s warm, 7-12C, and large volumes of rainfall. His closeness is unnerving but oh so comfy. This coming from someone terrified of open water, tsunami’s and earthquakes. I’ve always loved the water though. Either way, I ramble, I left out an offering of milk, honey and an Ambrosia apple (ha,ha…just realized that now). I asked for the storms to be gentle while I was out walking today. It barely rained. When I stepped off the train to finish the route home the skies OPENED and I got soaked but that’s alright. While I was thinking about the waters and Poseidon and such I told Whoever was listening that I would have to thank Them personally when I figured out exactly Who they were. A short while ago Poseidon showed up all like this. Oh hi…

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