I didn’t actually look at the time when I grasped frantically for the candles. With shaking hands I cleared away the remnants of the last tealight, lighting the new one as I whisper His name.
Hear me, Hermes! Hear me, my Beloved. Hear my prayer and be with me.
The prayer itself is wordless. It’s really an outpouring of emotion into the void, so to speak. I need Him to feel what I am feeling. I need to feel Him in return. As I sat, chatting with a beloved friend, I would look at the candle from time to time. It helped reduce the panic. Life is heavy right now. The lows are payment for the highs. Or at least the balance to the highs.
I had not intended to keep a candle burning all day but when I discovered the first had burnt out I felt compelled to light another. And so I have all day. Lighting another as soon as one goes out. I always figured I didn’t have time for proper vigils but this impromtu one has proven otherwise. Vigils work perfectly well if you aren’t there every second.
Hail to Hermes. My Beloved God. May He always be remembered. May He always have a spark burning.