Vigil – 12/19/2017

I didn’t actually look at the time when I grasped frantically for the candles. With shaking hands I cleared away the remnants of the last tealight, lighting the new one as I whisper His name.

Hear me, Hermes! Hear me, my Beloved. Hear my prayer and be with me.

The prayer itself is wordless. It’s really an outpouring of emotion into the void, so to speak. I need Him to feel what I am feeling. I need to feel Him in return. As I sat, chatting with a beloved friend, I would look at the candle from time to time. It helped reduce the panic. Life is heavy right now. The lows are payment for the highs. Or at least the balance to the highs.

I had not intended to keep a candle burning all day but when I discovered the first had burnt out I felt compelled to light another. And so I have all day. Lighting another as soon as one goes out. I always figured I didn’t have time for proper vigils but this impromtu one has proven otherwise. Vigils work perfectly well if you aren’t there every second.

Hail to Hermes. My Beloved God. May He always be remembered. May He always have a spark burning.

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The Sharp Knife of a Short Life…

Lo do I see my Beloved on this anniversary of her passing.
I feel her peace and contentment and know that she is at rest.
My heart still aches but it isn’t quite as sharp.
May we meet in the Hereafter and say and do all those things we meant to.

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“If I Die Young”

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in a river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She’ll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh,
And life ain’t always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain’t even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I’ve had just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I’ve had just enough time

And I’ll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger,
I’ve never known the lovin’ of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holdin’ my hand,
There’s a boy here in town, says he’ll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by…

…the sharp knife of a short life, oh well?
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best, boys, and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh, no, I’ll sell ’em for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you’re dead how people start listenin’

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)
The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ’em in your pocket
Save ’em for a time when you’re really gonna need ’em, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, oh well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best, boys, and I’ll wear my pearls.

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The Dead – 2015

*Started writing this on the 31st of October

It is not just the Dead who I loved as family that are remembered today. I have been tasked with the “care and feeding” of Others. Hear their names and we bear witness.

For the Dead whose physical forms have never been found, Dead who have no one to care for them, unnamed Dead such as still births, suicides (particularly those related to mental illness), the “unsavoury” Dead such as theives and criminals.

I also call to the non-human Dead. Spirits of water and wood, extinct animals, fungi, plant life, mammal, insect, Spirit Dead.

The Vigil

As the sun sets my vigil begins. I will bear witness to her passing, to her loneliness and pain. I will hold space for her in the darkness.

Ashley Michelle Wright was a very dear friend of mine. She died last year on the 18th of August. I still don’t know what happened or if I ever will. 

Hail to the Beloved Dead. Those who are remembered never die.