Sometimes I forget what it’s like to touch a God. With working on the Odin Contract the last year I did not spend much time with Hermes. He would flit in and out, as is his way, but he wasn’t as present as he has been over the last few years. I miss that closeness with him. Odin and the group that has come with him, they feel different. Hermes is Hermes. As always. “I am.” he says with that smirk. I thought I needed to write another contract with Odin but I realized as I was writing this that it isn’t necessary. They aren’t going anywhere. They are Family now.
It seems, in light of this, that Hermes is able to come back around more often. It’s nice to just be able to reach out and feel him there. It’s kind of like I’ve been busy with school, living on campus, and now I’ve moved back home. It’s where I want and need to be but there is some teenage-esque awkwardness. Some readjustment to a space and presence I have muscle memory of. Hermes thinks it’s cute.
I am currently recovering from open hernia repair so my non-corporeal friends are just hanging out for now. It’s not the kind of silence that was around me during pregnancy but there is a definite sense of quiet. I’m impatient to dive back into my spiritual life, a lot has been on hold since I’ve been waiting for this surgery. I hope to be making more regular posts as I heal.
This image passed through my Facebook earlier today. It made me smirk because Loki has taken it upon Himself to be much more…present…in my life. I had the pleasure of seeing a couple of my Godspouse friends !!!IN PERSON!!! last week and I mentioned how He wasn’t a “close personal friend”, I just seem to almost exclusively do oracle work for His followers(or followers of His children). As the words left my mouth I knew the lie of them. We all had a good laugh about it. I don’t think a person can associate with Loki and NOT have shenanigans and sexy times follow. I’m sure there is a full blog post coming on this subject.
I love this photo of a Loki lookalike.
So there is Someone prodding me to pay attention to Them. I may have mentioned before that Tolkien reads like history for me in the sense that it FEELS real. Not that I think I am any of the individual character’s. Thranduil caught my attention immediately. I honestly can’t remember if I’ve read anything about him, I think it’s all movie stuff. Anyways, the beautiful creature that is the “real” Thranduil is making Himself known. He’s intoxicating. I thought it was Loki, but it’s not, but it is. Loki-not Loki. He seems very determined to have much more than a platonic friendship; I don’t mean that it’s sex He’s after, although He wouldn’t complain, but there is an intimacy that He seeks. Also He is most definitely one of the Good Neighbours, a Fae, an Elf. The kind I swore I would never interact with. Will keep you posted as things unfold.
They all play a role in my life. And it is always in flux. This is the general idea though.
Poseidon is my Lover, my Husband, my King.
Hermes is my Lover, my Husband, my King, a Hunting Partner, Fellow Warrior
Apollo is my Priest, a ‘Spirit Worker’, He helps to guide and teach in the ways of Readings.
Aphrodite is my Friend, my Mother, my Huntress, my Mirror, my Love
And there’s Loki, Who does not give me another name to call Him besides Coyote. He is a very dear friend of mine and a ‘business partner’ or sorts, I tend to do a lot of readings for Lokeans. And He loves and watches over my son.
Odin is my Father in Heaven. A solid Rock and Foundation I can rest upon.
The Morrigan is my previous Patroness, an Old and Dear Friend Who is with me Always.
Now…language and names are a complicated thing. At this point in my Path and Learning, Who and What the God(s) actually are is really wibbly wobbly (totally timey wimey Dr Who shit). Besides Their continued support in one form or another, nothing is constant. The names used are the ones They currently prefer.
Loki has been about a lot recently, mainly checking in on my child. I also seem to get a lot of Lokean’s who ask for readings when I do my oracle calls. We aren’t in any sort of intimate relations or anything like that. In His own words, “I like to use your services; The child I have fallen madly for.”
He’s a sweet heart and I love Him to bits. He always makes me laugh. He couldn’t be left out of course, this was His choice for the morning.
Protect and Survive by The Dubliner’s
Well the government’s made a document
To help prevent embarrassment
And in the event of an accident
Catching us with our trousers down
It’s no use to you when you’re dead
Nor even when alive
And the name of this peace of paper is
Protect and survive
Chorus:
So when the nukes come raining down
It’s great to be alive, well
World War Three can be such fun
If you protect and survive
Protect and survive
Well a nuclear strike can be recognised
It would stand out in a crowd
There’s a flash, then a bang, then a blast of heat
And a bloody great mushroom cloud
So if you happen to see one at the end of your street
Will you please pick up the telephone
And inform your local police
(Chorus)
Put sticky tape on your windows
Block your ears and close your eyes
Though it won’t make a blind bit of difference
You won’t have to watch yourself fry
If you find yourself in the target zone
And you haven’t got a shelter
Take a spade into the garden
And dig like merry hell sir
(Chorus) They’ve got strategic ICBMs
Both theatre and tactical
With independently targeted
Multiple re-entry vehicles
Backfire bombers, Polaris subs, cruise missiles
And the boys who hang around the Pentagon
Can’t wait to use these toys
(Chorus)
When Armageddon gets underway
And the rockets come pouring down
All the bloody politicians who started it
Will scuttle off underground
And when they finally re-emerge
With no life to be found
They can administrate the rubble they made
And order each other around
(Chorus)
Now they give us a four minute warning
When the rockets are on their way
To give us time to panic and Christians time to pray
So when you hear the sirens going
Place your head between your thighs
Whilst maintaining this posture
You can make a final gesture
And with a little muscular pressure
You can kiss your arse goodbye
So when the nukes come raining down
It’s great to be alive, well
World War Three can be such fun
If you protect and survive
Protect and survive
Protect and survive
Protect and…
Sharing this because Loki asked me to. They have become quite enamoured with my child, which in turn makes me love Them even more. (He asked for gender neutral pronouns because I have seen Them in MANY forms and gender.)
There is a little fox statue with two kits that my Uncle gave me years ago. I was prompted to put the figure into the babies room before he was even born. It now sits on his little altar/shrine. Red always creeps into his wardrobe which Loki now confirms is Them. My heart is filled with warm happy feelings. Thank you Loki, for caring about my little one. ❤
Loki is my travelling Companion today. I asked His help in figuring out vows for my Marriage to Poseidon. A good friend said He was good with words. He’s been flitting about for a few months but this last week or two has been inundated with all things Dandelion. Sunday I was prompted to wear these key earrings that I totally forgot about and had to go looking for. That afternoon I received a sheer orange salwar kameez with gorgeous sequins and embroidery. Reddish brown is the colour of the day. And of course I had to get a new notebook since I like having separate books for each of Them. Another reason He is about probably has a lot to do with my recent realizations about my gender identity and sexuality(which may or may not be a post…Loki says yes.). The picture below is if the notebooks and pretty pens He requested. The headphones are because I forgot mine at home and will explode without music.
I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. As a young teen, when I left Christianity I left my interactions with Male Powers behind. I am not proud of it but I treated Them about as well as I treated mortal males during those years. I was struggling with the masculine parts of myself mightily at the time. Still do but that’s another blog post in and of itself. My fear of my own non-binary nature along with a giant bag of baggage from Christianity kept me from connecting with Them. It could have just been part of my journey I suppose, immerse myself in the gender I was assigned at birth(female), now it’s time to explore the others options.
It took a couple years for Himself to reassure me enough to let Him in. Since I’ve let Him it’s been a bit of a snowball effect. I’ve now had direct contact with five Gods in the last few months, including Himself. Odin is my Father in Heaven, Hermes is my Beloved Husband, Ares is a dear Friend, Loki is…well Loki. Then there is Poseidon. I’m pretty sure I’ve already written a bit about His amorous intentions. My Fibromyalgia is acting up really bad today so I has the dumb and not the brain power to look it up right now. When I asked the Menfolk why they were here, this song was my answer.
Which when you read the lyrics and such is really very funny and fitting with my feeling of entering a “Brave New World” (maybe I should read the book again?).
Hermes spoke with me yesterday about Poseidon, reassuring me that He is not upset about my feelings for Poseidon or for any interactions with Him. Himself reminded me that monogamy is really a “modern” human construct. He told me that He “sent” Poseidon to me because I need Someone else with me when He is away. It wasn’t like an arranged relationship or anything. It’s kinda like He gave His blessings I suppose? Kinda like when He asked Hekate to come help me with my visions and such.
Poseidon and I have been “talking” most of the morning. He talks in songs. Which is awesome. Hermes does too but Poseidon seems to speak more in waves of emotion and music, the rumbles of tremors and earthquakes and horse hooves. He played this song for me today in regards to our relationship, He had eluded to an idea like this when He told me to look up information on Amphitrite.
Now what He wanted me to pay particular attention to was this part…
“When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
They say it’s what you make
I say it’s up to fate
It’s woven in my soul
I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can’t escape this now
Unless you show me how”
Unless you show Me how. The idea of being a Mortal that needs to Guide a God is scaring the shit out of me right now. I can’t stay way though. It’s time to jump in the deep end.
For my Loki loving friends. When I see Him this…which has only been two times…He’s sneaky like that…this is how He appears. He had clothes on though unfortunately.
I adore this woman’s art. Her representations of Odin and Herne are spot on for me too. Please go visit her site! Windwolf Studio.
I had this dream last night that I lived in this small town and was married to a man who looked like a bulkier version of John Winchester (Supernatural) . I saw myself as looking like Mrs. Pell from Missisippi Burning. Come to think of it the town itself was reminiscent of that town, looks wise. There was a railroad in town that had been shut down which had made it so a lot of the townsfolk had to leave town to find employment. I took a walk by the railway which gave off more of the impression of a coal mine. It hadn’t been closed so much as destroyed, as if lava had been poured over it. This seemed significent.
My husband had to leave town for weeks at a time for work (since the rail was shut down) and I was terribly lonely. I remember making friends with a local gentleman and feeling a moment of temptation but no actual intimacy occured. When my husband came home he was angry and heartbroken because I had been unfaithful physically. I could not remember anything adulterous happening, unless you count the one moment of lonely thought. But still I felt ill, sick with guilt and heartache. I just kept repeating that he had be gone for so long and I had been so lonely. He did not leave me but things were very uncomfortable. Then there was some sort if accident, someone tried to kill me (my apparent lover was my hunch, but it looked like an accident, something to do with natural gas I think (inhalation not explosion). After this he was much more physically affectionate and ge tried to be intimate wuth me but stopped because all he could think about was my apparent infidelity. He cried. It made my heart hurt. I awoke shortly after this. The accident and intimacy attempt may be in opposite order, I can’t quite remember.
The heartache lasted physically all day. It struck me as a dream that was more than just a dream. Thoughts of Loki and Odin came to mind but I’m not sure if I was just grasping at straws.
A Matter of Faith 