Return of the King

Sometimes I forget what it’s like to touch a God. With working on the Odin Contract the last year I did not spend much time with Hermes. He would flit in and out, as is his way, but he wasn’t as present as he has been over the last few years. I miss that closeness with him. Odin and the group that has come with him, they feel different. Hermes is Hermes. As always. “I am.” he says with that smirk. I thought I needed to write another contract with Odin but I realized as I was writing this that it isn’t necessary. They aren’t going anywhere. They are Family now.

It seems, in light of this, that Hermes is able to come back around more often. It’s nice to just be able to reach out and feel him there. It’s kind of like I’ve been busy with school, living on campus, and now I’ve moved back home. It’s where I want and need to be but there is some teenage-esque awkwardness. Some readjustment to a space and presence I have muscle memory of. Hermes thinks it’s cute.

I am currently recovering from open hernia repair so my non-corporeal friends are just hanging out for now. It’s not the kind of silence that was around me during pregnancy but there is a definite sense of quiet. I’m impatient to dive back into my spiritual life, a lot has been on hold since I’ve been waiting for this surgery. I hope to be making more regular posts as I heal.

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Fear

I’m afraid. For the first time in a long time I’m afraid of the world. I was childless and much less connected to the Gods the last time I felt this fear. I think it was actually in the early to mid nineties when my mortal Father was called up from his reserve regiment to be sent to Iraq. I’d never felt so grateful or gushed my love to the Divine like I did when he didn’t pass the medical tests. I currently have some very dear friends and some distant family still in the service, I may need to do a Vigil for them. Compounding the current state of affairs in the world is that I am married, corporeally and non-corporeally, and have a mortal child who will have to grow up in this world. I know living on the western coast of Canada provides me with a certain amount of safety, it doesn’t really help though. I’m afraid for everyone.

Coupled with the unease in my corporeal life, the non-corporeal is a howling, screaming mess, though it seems calm on the surface. Poseidon isn’t here, or rather I should say I’m not with Him. This is Hermes half of the year so I have moved house. I find myself in Hermes home now. The closest Lore that would explain and describe it involve a bit of name changing. Sometimes Poseidon likes to look/act/be called Njord, Hermes begrudgingly admitted His Heimdallr associations. I’ve moved from Noatun to Himinbjörg. Where Noatun was quiet but lived in, Himinbjörg is cold, dark, brooding. Most of the furnishings are covered in sheets, it is in need of a good cleaning. No One has lived here for some time. Not in the Castle proper anyways. His rooms are resplendent; The fabrics are dark but warm colours, browns and golds and reds. I find this extra fascinating because His colours right now are blues and greys. Oh wait, He’s in “war” mode currently He says, the blues are for official duties and more associated with Himself as Hermes. That’s going to be a post in and of itself I think. I realize as I write this that I have a lot to do at my Winter home. There are Beings here that need attending too.

For the first time in a long time He scares me too. Not intentionally, of course, but when you find your Beloved screaming in the Dark in rage and pain and madness. He is so tired already and there is only more coming. I worry for Him. I will be His Light in the Darkness, I will be the Beacon that helps Him find His way home.

Heimdallr in Pictures

Heimdallr

My SisterWife mentioned that she thought Heimdallr is Himself through the Norse/Scandinavian lens. I don’t know much about Him so I started reading, finding lots of what I call “breadcrumbs”. Little tidbits of info that point the way. As I was reading I looked up, noticing something out of the corner of my eye. There is a crow with white splatterings on his wings, I call him White Wings, I thought he had come back for a second visit but it was this amazing fellow. A Pileated Woodpecker. Before this year I hadn’t seen one in years…if ever. I’m guessing Sister and I are on the right track!